March Reflections
and April intentions
April has arrived, which means it’s time for me to reflect on my life before I begin another lap around the sun at the end of the month. So far, 2025 has been about tapping into my range of identities and roles while giving myself grace as I attempt to balance them. In March, I was interviewed for three more podcasts, as well as attended the most beautiful event as a keynote speaker for the first time.
All of this connection has filled my heart to the brim; yet, I’ve noticed my mind has felt full of anxiety and pressure to write. The culprit— social media. I have always felt grounded and tethered to my authentic “whys” when it came to writing and sharing my poetry, which includes: the connection to my mother, the processing of my grief, and helping others feel seen. As I shared more often and vulnerably on Instagram and somewhat on Facebook, I could feel myself floating away from my reasons. I started focusing on the metrics— feeling inadequate when engagement dropped, deleting posts if they had less than a thousand likes, and feeling increasingly self-conscious about my writing. I panicked when I didn’t create a post every single day and then panicked when I did. We all know the spiral with dopamine and brain-rewiring related to social media.
All of this to say, I am pausing to remember why I write and will be more intentional with my social media presence. I am not a content creator. I do not like making reels or trying to “grow my following”. I like writing grief poems when I want to. When I am feeling inspired. When it comes naturally. I share them because I choose to. Because it is supposed to be healing, not harmful. I will not let an algorithm turn writing into another ugly thing for my nervous system to flare over. I am prepared for the crash, the reach decline, the unfollows, and all else that comes when we cut back. So thank you to everyone who decides to stick around as I get reoriented. Another April (and 2025) intention is to connect deeper with people. I want to read poetry in libraries, create workshops, network, write personalized messages in books, laugh and cry with people; I want less audience, more community. And now, here are a couple of my poems that I panic-deleted from social media :)
updates
UPCOMING EVENTS:
(virtually-attending) Conversation & Poetry Reading with Onyx Angels Support Group for Bereaved Families. Hosted by The Onyx Victor Foundation. Saturday, April 19, 2025 from 11 AM- 1:30 PM EST. Group meets in person in Chesapeake, Virginia.
Grieving Poetry Library Reading. Hosted by Saline District Library. Thursday, May 29, 2025, at 6:30 PM EST. Saline, Michigan.
PRODUCTS:
I have restocked books for those who want signed copies or are not using Amazon. Prints are also restocked.
PODCASTS:
When We Die Talks Podcast Episode 13 (my favorite number!). Hosted by Zach Ancell with WWDT Podcast. Zach is also giving away signed copies of my books!
Coming soon:
Sex & Intimacy After Loss Episode on the Empty Arms Podcast. I am so excited to do my first interview as both a grief poet AND a sex therapist to discuss intimacy and sex after loss. You can submit anonymous questions on Facebook, Instagram, or Email. Visit Empty Arms of Great Bangor for more information.
thank you for reading and supporting.
with love,
sara rian
The pressure to post more often can be so depleting, especially when it’s content that can only come from the heart (i.e grief talk), but alas, it persists.
I will say that I have never felt as if your posts have been too close together, nor too far apart. They seem to come at just the right time, just when I’m needing to hear the exact words that you’ve written. A sort of validation of how I’ve been feeling about my own grief, or a way to put onto paper (digitally) what’s been going on in my brain.
Your words have so much meaning and deserve to be shared, regardless of the amount of likes or views 🤍
Love that you are taking space for yourself and your art! I don’t think we were meant to create even close to the way we are expected to these days and because of that burnout is real. Thanks again for being on the show! You always have a big fan over here!